What's That Out of the Corner of My Eye

While out running errands this morning I began thinking about random things.  You know you are in the car alone after dropping the kids off at their schools. You have so much stuff to do while they are not underfoot. So I got to thinking about my friend who's daughter was having emergency surgery, so she and her husband took off for Philly to be with her.  Which got me to thinking about the last time she drove to Philly to spend time with her daughter.  Not so much her visit, but the experience she had on the drive home.

It was around 2am, she is flying down the highway on her way home.  Her son was the only one awake in the car with her at the time.  He says "Mom do me a favor, roll down your window and whatever you do don't look up".  She does what any one would do in that situation.  She looked up!  Holy Mother Of God!!!  She looks up and on the ceiling over her head is a grasshopper that looks to be 4" long.  She hits panic mode.  She floors it looking for the next exit.  She sees it in the distance.  She peels off the highway.  Screeching to a halt on the side of the road.  Jumps out of her car screaming and running across 4 lanes of highway to get as far away from it as possible.  Her son disposed of the bug, and very cautiously she continued on for home.

That thought got me to thinking about another friend and her experience with insects.  She and her husband were driving cross country from New Hampshire to their new home in San Diego.  She often tells me how much she loved that drive.  That is every part of it except the drive through Arizona.  She says that it was there that she wanted the drive to be over.  And for one poor insect the road did end there.  Let us now travel with her for a while down another highway.

The drive was wonderful.  They were leaving the bitter cold of New England headed to for a new life in filled with sunshine and warmth.  She said it was a beautiful day riding down the highway looking at all the sights while her husband manned the wheel.  That was until she felt a little tickle on her foot.  She casually looked down at her foot.  There on the top of her foot enjoying the ride is a 3" wolf spider.  She begins to scream at the top of her lungs, which scares the hell out of her unsuspecting husband.  He pulls the car off the highway, she jumps out running and screaming through a field.  She refused to get back in the car until she watched him looked over the entire car to make sure that he didn't have friends.  She still, to this day, freaks out at any spider she sees.

Well those thoughts got me to thinking about what has happened to me while I have been driving or have been driven down the road.  But, at home that is a completely different story.  Let us go back in time to 2 events that have scarred me for life.  The first was when I was still with husband #1.

I had the day off from work.  I was in the kitchen washing dishes.  The kids were in the living room watching TV.  My mind was off wandering while I washed.  When out of the corner of my eye I see movement.  So, I turned my head to see what it was.  HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING GOD!!!  There was a snake slithering up the wall from behind the water heater.  Not just any old snake, oh no. It was a copperhead!  I ran out the kitchen as fast as my feet could carry me. I grabbed the phone and the kids and headed outside.  I proceeded to call my husband and tell him that he needed to get his ass home right now and kill it.  We were still standing in the driveway when he got home.  He never found that gee-golly snake.  It wasn't long after that, that I left that house never to return.

The last event happened not too long ago with my current husband.

It was last winter.  My husband likes to keep the wood-stove going all winter long.  So every morning before he would leave for work he would bring in a days worth of firewood for me to throw in the stove, that way the house would stay warm.  I would always when I got up in the morning put a couple pieces the stove and not worry about it again for a couple of hours.  That particular morning I picked up one of the pieces and threw it in and as I picked up the second piece, I noticed that the wood looked odd.  As I held the piece in my hand I realized why.  There was a snake curled up on the wood dozing away.  I looked at the snake. I looked at that back door. I looked at the snake.  Then the snake moved! I screamed! I did what any normal freaked out person would do. I threw the wood in the stove and closed the door.  I called him at work and told him in no uncertain terms was he ever to bring firewood into the house for me ever again.  I'll get it my own damn self.

Are there anythings that have happened to you that have been etched into your memory?  Anything that has scarred you for life involving insects or reptiles?